oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
