so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
