The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
