i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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