O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
