Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
