i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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