kristin has been a bad kristin
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
