omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize