So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
