Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
