At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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