idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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