i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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