so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize