What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Come on in and take your pants off
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