Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
