Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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