I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
