it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
