Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
