She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
