She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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