How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Text me some of your sweat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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