talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
