We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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