remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
