I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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