Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize