you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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