dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
