Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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