im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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