I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
