At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
