he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
