Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
