I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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