he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
