hotel room ftw
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize