Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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