And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
