At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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