I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
