I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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