he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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