I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
