sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am naked and annoyed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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