so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize