What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
