I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
