You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize