Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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