I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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