No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
