She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
