I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
