put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
