Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
