I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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