just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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