Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
