Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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