10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
