the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
