i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
