I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
