Need sex. Gaining weight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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