Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drake has all the answers
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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