Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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