spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
