I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
