Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
