I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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