Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
love makes seman taste better
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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