Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
