their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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