Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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