You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
