Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize