Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
