At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
