All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
