i was born a porn star she said
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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