Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
