Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
